Habeas Sightings: Ithaca, NY

We got a string of reports overnight from Ithaca, but our analyst team said they might be nothing more than vague rumors. The this detailed account came in on the tip line from a student at Ithaca College:

“Hi, this is a Habeas sighting … I think. I pressed 1 – well – yeah, so were in line at Collegetown Bagels Sunday morning getting breakfast before a study group. Right when I got to the front of the line, a gust of wind blew the door open and a in one blurred motion this streak of cruise, like cruised past me and grabbed a cup of coffee and an everything bagel that were waiting on a tray.. He dropped exact change and then whirled around and ran out before I could even get a good look at him. Does – I mean, does Habeas have hair?I was really hungry, but I ran out and tried following him – he was moving so fast. I ran past Dino’s and Mahogany Grill, but toward the center of the commons. But by the time I turned the corner he was gone.I thought that was it, but on my way back to the bagel store I saw something moving in a tree. It was Habeas, sitting there on a low branch, like it was totally normal, eating his bagel and sipping his coffee just beyond the walkway.He was green, so the leaves and bushes along the walk sort of hid him. But he kind of blew his cover when he shouted out “Whoops! Sorry! My fault!” He’d dropped his coffee onto the stone walk below. People didn’t seem to notice – well, I think he freaked out a couple squirrels. I asked if I could buy him a fresh cup, but maybe he was kind of spooked too, cause he hopped down like some kind of ninja, and disappeared between the shops down the alley.”

Habeas has been on the run for so long now. Maybe he needed the coffee to stay alert. Maybe he was just hungry. Everyone has to eat. He’s still out there and we really want to know where he’ll be spotted next. Please let us know as soon as possible. E-mail your tips to aclu@aclu.org.